A Blog of the Ridiculous and Sublime, by Mark Sackler
“It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.”–Phyllis Diller
Hmm. Thanksgiving is the only day of the year my wife cooks. I suppose you can say it takes her a year to stuff the turkey. Wait–we are visiting relatives this year. The next one will take two years. Happy stuffing day.
“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.”–Irv Kupcinet
“Thanksgiving, man, not a good day to be in my pants.”–Kevin James
I have reached the age where I really don’t give a flying $@%$# about diets or whether pants fit. Not on Thanksgiving. I’ll worry about that next week. Have a good one, if you’re into it.
“Have you ever noticed you never get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it’s because all the coats are on the bed.”–George Carlin
Or in my house, because all our dogs are on the bed. Drive safely and enjoy your turkey.
“The main reason Santa is jolly is he knows where all the bad girls live.”–George Carlin
Hmmm.I Wonder what he’s looking for…(www.savagechickens.com, click for link)
I knew there was a reason I was jealous of the guy. I also now know what he is doing the other 364 days while the elves are making all the toys. At any rate, this non-theistic, almost-atheist existentialist wishes you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Season’s Greetings, happy pagan winter solstice, or whatever it is you celebrate.
“The average Thanksgiving dinner takes 18 hours to prepare and 12 minutes to consume. The average football halftime is 12 minutes long. This is not a coincidence.”–Erma Bombeck
“Most Texans think Hanukkah is a duck call.”–Richard Lewis
If all this isn’t enough, my wife is actually preparing a rutabaga as part of our dinner. After all the jokes about rutabagas herein, when I actually held one I thought it was a misshapen duck pin bowling ball. Happy Turkey Day to all.
“The main reason Santa is jolly is he knows where all the bad girls live.”–George Carlin
Hmmm.I Wonder what he’s looking for…(www.savagechickens.com, click for link)
I knew there was a reason I was jealous of the guy. I also now know what he is doing the other 364 days while the elves are making all the toys. At any rate, this non-theistic, almost-atheist existentialist wishes you a Merry Christmas, Season’s Greetings, happy pagan winter solstice, or whatever it is you celebrate.
I'm not the most interesting man in the world, but I might have the most cluttered mind.
The Millennium Conjectures™ 