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Cosmic Quote #91

“Have you ever noticed you never get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it’s because all the coats are on the bed.”–George Carlin

Or in my house, because all our dogs are on the bed.  Drive safely and enjoy your turkey.

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Cosmic Quote #13 (redux)

“The main reason Santa is jolly is he knows where all the bad girls live.”–George Carlin

Hmmm.I Wonder what he's looking for...(www.savagechickens.com, click for link)

Hmmm.I Wonder what he’s looking for…(www.savagechickens.com, click for link)

I knew there was a reason I was jealous of the guy.  I also now know what he is doing the other 364 days while the elves are making all the toys.  At any rate, this non-theistic, almost-atheist existentialist wishes you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Season’s Greetings, happy pagan winter solstice, or whatever it is you celebrate.

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Cosmic Quote(s) #31–Thanksgivukkah

“The average Thanksgiving dinner takes 18 hours to prepare and 12 minutes to consume.  The average football halftime is 12 minutes long.  This is not a coincidence.”–Erma Bombeck

“Most Texans think Hanukkah is a duck call.”–Richard Lewis

thanksgivikahIf all this isn’t enough, my wife is actually preparing a rutabaga as part of our dinner. After all the jokes about rutabagas herein, when I actually held one I thought it was a misshapen duck pin bowling ball.   Happy Turkey Day to all.

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Cosmic Quote #13

“The main reason Santa is jolly is he knows where all the bad girls live.”–George Carlin

Hmmm.I Wonder what he's looking for...(www.savagechickens.com, click for link)

Hmmm.I Wonder what he’s looking for…(www.savagechickens.com, click for link)

I knew there was a reason I was jealous of the guy.  I also now know what he is doing the other 364 days while the elves are making all the toys.  At any rate, this non-theistic, almost-atheist existentialist wishes you a Merry Christmas, Season’s Greetings, happy pagan winter solstice, or whatever it is you celebrate.

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