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Cosmic Quote #91

“Have you ever noticed you never get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it’s because all the coats are on the bed.”–George Carlin

Or in my house, because all our dogs are on the bed.  Drive safely and enjoy your turkey.

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Mark’s Neologisms #4: Collective Nouns

‘Longshoremen walked off the docks today.  Rescue operations are continuing around the clock.”–George Carlin

A gaggle of geese…a pod of walruses….a murmuration of starlings…a pride of lions.  It seem that interest in collective nouns,  the colorful, if mostly archaic ones that define a specific group of the animal kingdom, is on a comeback.  One article I read suggested some tongue in cheek, punny new monikers for specific groups of us humanoids.   These included “an absence of waiters,” “an attitude of teenagers,” and “a brace of orthodontists.”   So of course, the light bulb in my brain, dull as it is, flashed on.  There are any number of people packs that deserve their own special sobriquet.  Here are a few suggestions.

  • A prevarication of politicians–pretty obvious
  • A Trump of narcissists–also obvious
  • A Cruz of theocrats–sadly obvious
  • A neuter of veterinarians–considering I’ve been living with one for 40 years, it’s a miracle I’m still in tact.
  • An enhancement of athletes–but this works only for those that don’t live with veterinarians
  • A babble of talk show hosts–and it certainly seems there are a babble of them.
  • An angst of existentialists–I resemble that
  • A Xerox® of Copycats–Note the ®, no I.P. issues, please.
  • A largess of lawyers–NOT!! (just wanted to see if you were paying attention)
  • A regurgitation of acid reflux sufferers–Ewwww!
  • A rash of dermatologists–It is, after all, allergy season
  • A drowning of longshoremen–You should have seen that one coming.

Any suggestions for more?  Join the vituperation of posters in the comments below.

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Cosmic Quote #61

“To you, I’m an atheist.  To god, I’m the loyal opposition.”–Woody Allen

“Atheism is a non-prophet organization.”–George Carlin

priestsI must admit, golf was once my religion.  Now I’m a non-theistic existentialist, though I still occasionally play around–er, I mean a round.

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Cosmic Quote #13 (redux)

“The main reason Santa is jolly is he knows where all the bad girls live.”–George Carlin

Hmmm.I Wonder what he's looking for...(www.savagechickens.com, click for link)

Hmmm.I Wonder what he’s looking for…(www.savagechickens.com, click for link)

I knew there was a reason I was jealous of the guy.  I also now know what he is doing the other 364 days while the elves are making all the toys.  At any rate, this non-theistic, almost-atheist existentialist wishes you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Season’s Greetings, happy pagan winter solstice, or whatever it is you celebrate.

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Cosmic Quote #13

“The main reason Santa is jolly is he knows where all the bad girls live.”–George Carlin

Hmmm.I Wonder what he's looking for...(www.savagechickens.com, click for link)

Hmmm.I Wonder what he’s looking for…(www.savagechickens.com, click for link)

I knew there was a reason I was jealous of the guy.  I also now know what he is doing the other 364 days while the elves are making all the toys.  At any rate, this non-theistic, almost-atheist existentialist wishes you a Merry Christmas, Season’s Greetings, happy pagan winter solstice, or whatever it is you celebrate.

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