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Cosmic Quote #42A–Towel Day (redux)

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”–Douglas Adams

One deadline you absolutely can’t miss is Towel Day.  Keep your towel handy and don’t panic.

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6th Annual Poll: Funniest Names In The NFL Draft

  This post appears concurrently on The Blog of Funny Names.  I also blog and podcast on futurist topics at Seeking Delphi.™ 

“My weird name has haunted me all my life.”–Peaches Geldof

Sadly, Peaches didn’t live long enough to be haunted all that long.  The only thing that will haunt the names we honor herein, though, is how to spend the bonus checks they get when they sign NFL contracts.

So here we go–the sixth annual Funniest Names in the NFL Draft Poll.  Wow.  Sixth? Already?   If time flies when you are having fun, it flies even faster when you are making fun…of funny names.

Let’s kick it off with a review of the five previous winners and how their fortunes have fared since being drafted.

Poll #1, 2013–Barkevious Mingo. Outside Linebacker, LSU.  Mingo was the number six overall pick in the draft that year, but has never lived up to the hype of a first rounder.  If that fate wasn’t obvious when he was picked by Cleveleand, you haven’t been following the NFL lately.

Poll #2 2014–Ha-Sean Treshon “Ha-Ha” Clinton-Dix, Free Safety, Alabama. Picked 21st overall in that year’s first round by the Green  Bay Packers, he’s had a solid if unspectacular pro career to date.  He does have the distinction of beating out the best ever also-ran in this poll–Jadaveon Clowney.  Clowney was the number one overall pick by Houston that year.  With a Ha-Ha and a Clown, 2014 was the deepest draft in funny name annals.  However, Ha-Ha’s biggest claim to funny name fame is his cameo appearance in Key and Peele’s East-West Bowl, Pro Edition.

Poll #3–2015–Jaquiski Tartt, Safety, Samford. Tartt was the first, and so far, only player to win this poll on a write-in.  He was also the highest drafted player ever to go to Samford, going to San Francisco in the second round.  I think that final “tt” is what clinched it for him.

Poll #4-2106–Halapoulivaati Vaiti, Offensive Tackle, TCU.  Can’t say much, my computer is out of letters.  At least fourteen fans were hospitalized and treated for tongue cramp when they attempted to pronounce his name after his fifth round drafting by Philadelphia.

Poll #5–2017–Jake Butt, Tight End, Michigan. Wow, a tight end named Butt.  He was headed towards possible first round selection until he tore his ACL in the 2016 Orange Bowl.  He fell to the fifth round–selected by Denver–but sat out the entire 2017 season with the injury.  At least his butt is still in tact.

With that, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to start our engines and get to the 2018 nominees.  As usual, I’ll  regale you with my warped opinions on what the names sound like they might be, if they weren’t football players.

Vita Vea–Best name? Maybe. Best hair–definitely!

Tevita “Vita” Tuliakiono Tuipuloto Mosese Va’hae Faletau Vea, Defensive Tackle, Washington. A big name for a big (346 pound) man.  Do not attempt to pronounce this entire name unless in the presence of an external oxygen supply and paramedics.  The question is not whether this is the longest name in NFL history, but the longest in world hostory.  What I think his name sounds like: The entire Hawaiian language dictionary.

Equanimeous Tristan Imhoptep J. St. Brown, Wide Receiver, Notre Dame.  I’d say you can’t make this stuff up, but obviously, his parents did. What I think his name sounds like: the 14th editor of the Oxford Unabridged English Dictionary.

Josey Jewel, Linebacker Iowa.  Unfortunately, there are no really good double-barrelled names in this year’s draft, but there are three great candidates for best alliterative name.  Jewel is one of them. What I think his name sounds like: A Vegas pole dancer.

Folorunso Fatukasi, Defensive Tackle, UCONN.  UConn, of course, is much better known for basketball–especially women’s–than football.  And hey, my wife and daughter are both alums.  This guy throws his hat in the ring for the best alliterative name.  What I think his name sounds like: the governor of Okinawa.

Key’vantanie “Keke” Coutee, Wide Receiver, Texas Tech.  Sorry Josey and Foloro…Flor… oh, whatever your name is–Keke is my personal pick for best alliterative name in this year’s pack.  What I think his name sounds like: see Josey Jewell.

There are plenty of honorable mentions, all eligible to be written in.  But hey, you can write in your kid if he plays Pop Warner, or even your mother-in-law, if her corner blitz flattens  you.  So don’t forget to consider Ogbonnia Okoronkwo, Breeland Speaks, Hercules Mata’afa, Dane Cruishank, Chuckwuma Okorafor or just about anybody whose name tickles your funny bone.

 Voting in closed.  Equanimeous St. Brown is the winner of the 6th annual Funniest Names In The NFL Draft poll.

 

 

 

 

 

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Cosmic Quote #99

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”–Hunter S. Thompson

And when their names get weird–or funny–they go in the first round of the NFL draft.  Just ask Barkevious Mingo, Jadeveon Clowney, and Ha-Ha Clinton Dix.  They were all first rounders, and all top performers in the annual poll of funniest names in the NFL draft.  Oh, yeah. Don’t forget: the 6th annual edition of that venerated tradition will appear on Monday of next week. Same time, same channel.

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Seeking Delphi(tm)–Podcast #21: The Future of Privacy In The Digital Age

Reblogged from Seeking Delphi.™  Originally posted April 10, 2018

 “We are losing privacy at an alarming rate–we have none left.”–John McAfee

Privacy is becoming irrelevant.”–Gray Scott

 

Is privacy dead?  The answer may be more indifferent than you suspect.  Gray Scott says it’s becoming irrelevant.  People and politicians may squawk, but if you look at their behavior, it looks as if they just don’t really care.  It seems we’d rather have free content–even at the cost of privacy–than pay even nominal amounts to access online materials.  In this wide ranging interview, conducted just hours before Mark Zuckerberg’s senate testimony in the wake of the Cambridge Analytica data breach, Gray provides us with his nuanced view of the state of privacy, both present and future.

A reminder that this and all Seeking Delphi™  podcasts are available on iTunes, PlayerFM, and  YouTube.  You can also follow us on Facebook and on twitter @MarkSackler

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Podcast episode #21: The Future of Privacy In The Digital Age, with Gray Scott

YouTube slide show of Podcast #21: The Future of Privacy with Gray Scott

A reminder that this and all Seeking Delphi ™podcasts are available on iTunes, PlayerFM, and  YouTube.  You can also follow us on Facebook and on twitter @MarkSackler

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Cosmic Quote #98: R.I.P. Stephen Hawking

“Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.”–Stephen Hawking

Hawking–his sense of humor was his secret to survival

Boy, can I ever relate to that philosophy.  It’s what underlies this blog.  It’s what keeps me going.  It  has kept my marriage alive for 40 years–so far.   Forget all his cosmic stuff–that quote is the best part of his legacy.

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Seeking Delphi: SXSW minicast #2, Can We Create Consciousness in a Machine?

My first foray into the SXSW mega festival and conference has been a memorable one.  In covering the Intelligent future track for Seeking Delphi™ and Age of Robots magazine I’ve been able to meet and mingle with some of the smartest thinkers on the planet.  The post below is re-blogged, containing links to two podcasts recorded and produced on site in Austin.  I also had the amazing experience of gaining a personal interview with tech guru whurley (William Hurley).  That will be posted in the next couple of days and will be expanded into a feature in Age of Robots.

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”–Albert Einstein

For anyone who has watched the HBO series Westworld,  the questions about creating machine consciousness run much deeper than “can we.”  These include,  should we?  How will we treat it?  How will it feel about its station as artificial life?  Will we be able to control it, and is that ethical?  And most profoundly,  how will that change what it means to be human?  The questions go beyond ethical to existential, and they were all addressed in the SXSW Intelligent Future track in a panel titled Can We Create Consciousness In A Machine? Not surprisingly, there were two techno-philosophers on the panel to explore these issues.  They are David Chalmers, with NYU’s Center for Brain an Mind Consciousness, and Susan Schneider, with the Department of Cognitive Sciences at the University of Connecticut.  This session was part of the IEEE Tech for Humanity series at SXSW.  My thanks to Interprose and IEEE for helping to arrange the interviews.

In this Seeking Delphi™ minicast,  I speak with both of them about some of these issues.   The third panelist mentioned in the podcast is Allen Institute physicist, Kristoff Koch.

A reminder that this and all Seeking Delphi ™podcasts are available on iTunes, PlayerFM, and  YouTube.  You can also follow us on Facebook and on twitter @MarkSackler

David Chalmers

Susan Schneider

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Special Edition SXSW 2018 mini-cast #2.

YouTube slide show of  Seeking Delphi™ SXSW 2018 minicast #2

In case you missed it, the YouTube slide show link for SXSW 2018 minicast #1, on covering sessions on quantum computing and self-driving car safety, is below.

A reminder that this and all Seeking Delphi ™podcasts are available on iTunes, PlayerFM, and  YouTube.  You can also follow us on Facebook and on twitter @MarkSackler

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Cosmic Quote #97: R.I.P. Ursula Le Guin

“There are no right answers to wrong questions.”–Ursula K. Le Guin

Photo© Marian Wood Kolisch

I only ever read a single Ursula Le Guin book.  But it was the only one I ever really needed.  The Lathe of Heaven remains–now and forever–my favorite Science Fiction novel of all time.  It is must reading for anyone seriously interested in how things interact in our complex world, and what that might mean for our future.  Systems thinking, unintended consequences, and “think globally, act locally,” resound as themes throughout.  Read it.

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Cosmic Quote #96

“One human data is worth a billion mice.”–Bioviva CEO, Elizabeth Parrish**

So what about goldfish data?  And don’t even ask about the mice’s point of view on human data.  All they care about is the cheese.

**Don’t look for this quote anywhere else on the internet–yet.  It comes directly from my interview with Parrish that will air on the next Seeking Delphi™ podcast, and appear in the March issue of Age of Robots.

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Cosmic Quotes #95

“Ring out the false; ring in the true.”–Alfred Lord Tennyson

Happy belated New Year.  Let your resolution be to ring in the true.  I’ll take care of the rest.

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Cosmic Quote #94

“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.”–Gary Allan

Santa would never dare mess with my lawyer.  And I had naughty nailed decades ago.  Naughty or nice, enjoy the holiday season.  In a few days, we return to reality.

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