Cosmic Quote #108

“It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.”–Phyllis Diller

Hmm.  Thanksgiving is the only day of the year my wife cooks.  I suppose you can say it takes her a year to stuff the turkey.  Wait–we are visiting relatives this year.  The next one will take two years.  Happy stuffing day.


Cosmic Quote #103

“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.”–Irv Kupcinet

“Thanksgiving, man, not a good day to be in my pants.”–Kevin James

I have reached the age where I really don’t give a flying $@%$# about diets or whether pants fit.  Not on Thanksgiving.  I’ll worry about that next week.   Have a good one, if you’re into it.


Cosmic Quote #91

“Have you ever noticed you never get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it’s because all the coats are on the bed.”–George Carlin

Or in my house, because all our dogs are on the bed.  Drive safely and enjoy your turkey.


Cosmic Quote(s) #31–Thanksgivukkah

“The average Thanksgiving dinner takes 18 hours to prepare and 12 minutes to consume.  The average football halftime is 12 minutes long.  This is not a coincidence.”–Erma Bombeck

“Most Texans think Hanukkah is a duck call.”–Richard Lewis

thanksgivikahIf all this isn’t enough, my wife is actually preparing a rutabaga as part of our dinner. After all the jokes about rutabagas herein, when I actually held one I thought it was a misshapen duck pin bowling ball.   Happy Turkey Day to all.

%d bloggers like this: