A Blog of the Ridiculous and Sublime, by Mark Sackler
“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.”–Groucho Marx
“What the world needs now is more Grouchos and fewer grouches.”–me
Don’t look now, but most annual deductibles for health insurance in the US now cost a lot more than most people made in a year back in Groucho’s day. Indeed, the world needs more Grouchos.
“Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you’re the Charlie Brownest!”–Linus Van Pelt
Good ol’ Charlie Brown turns 65 today. And good grief, so do I! Yep, October 2, 1950 brought the world the first daily Peanuts comic strip. And–love me or leave me–it brought me, too. I may talk about sharing a birthday with Gandhi and Groucho, but Charlie is my true kindred spirit. I wonder if he has a Medicare card…
“Each night when I go to bed, I die, and the next morning I am born again.”–Gandhi
“I intend to live forever, or die trying.”–Groucho Marx
Groucho–This face will live forever
It’s time for a rebirth. As my day-to-day business winds down for the year, I have a little time for my funny business. I aim to get this blog restarted–or die trying. Or not. Stay tuned.
“There is still no cure for the common birthday.”–John Glenn
We celebrate four birthdays today–er, at least I do. One is fictional, two historical and one hysterical (in more than one sense of the word).
Charlie Brown, b. Oct 2, 1950
“Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you’re the Charlie Brownest.”–Linus
It was 62 years ago today that good ‘ol Charlie Brown made his first appearance in a syndicated cartoon. All of seven newspapers were visionary enough to pick up the start of what would become the most iconic series in the history of American comics. If Charles Schulz was writing today for the benefit of this blog, he might have used the term “multiverse” rather than “world” in the Linus quote above. No matter, Linus, ever the philosopher, and his rancorous sister Lucy, are actually the characters in my two favorite Peanuts strips of all time. In one Linus stares upward and ponders “Why is the sky blue.” Lucy blasts out “BECAUSE IT ISN”T GREEN,” sending Linus tumbling over backward with his beloved blanket flying asunder. In the other Linus turns tables on his evil sibling. As she rants on and on about how crowded the world is becoming and that too many babies are being born with too many mouths to feed, Linus looks her straight in the eye and suggests, “So why don’t you leave?”
“Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this in flesh and blood ever walked upon this earth,” Albert Einstein describing Gandhi
Mohandas K. Gandhi, b. Oct 2, 1869
Few things in this life render me speechless. Mohandas K. Gandhi is one of them. Glib as I may seem, I have no words to describe him. Well, perhaps this. If he had lived 2000 years ago, they would have named a religion after him. And, I might add, he would not have liked that one bit.
OK, maybe I’m not so speechless. But the best description of the man and his life I can offer is to refer you to the 1982 film Gandhi. It won 8 academy awards including best picture, director, screen play and actor, the latter award going to Ben Kingsley for his masterful depiction of the man. It was one of only two movies that ever left me speechless, the other was Schindler’s List.
Groucho, b. October 2, 1890
“Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted,”–Groucho
Groucho…Gandhi…Charlie Brown…a cartoon character, a dead comic and a dead inspirational leader. What do they have in common other than the same birthday? They were all one of a kind; the mold was broken after each one of them was made. More importantly, they are collectively the inspiration for the “Ridiculous and Sublime” subtitle of this blog. And as ridiculous as Groucho may have seemed, there was some amazing wisdom in many of his funny words. “Marriage is an institution, and who wants to live in an institution?’ “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.” “Humor is reason gone mad.” These are just a few of my favorites. I’ll save the rest for future posts.
“Have you ever been told to think outside the box? My problem has always been, I can’t think inside of it.”–Me
Me, b. Oct 2, 1950. Picture taken on my 22nd birthday. If only I could still get away with acting this young.
In my case, I think they broke the mold before they made me. And while I’ve been called worse things than the sobriquet I gave myself above, I’m pretty sure that boring isn’t one of them. At any rate, the three colossal personalities profiled above represent a huge inspiration for this blog and for how I live my life. I hope they also inspire you a lot, even as I strive to inspire you a little. As I contemplate another year shot to hell, I thank all of you who follow me here and put up with my own special brand of insanity.
Xanadu (as Orson Welles saw it in Citizen Kane)
If it’s good enough for the networks, it’s good enough for me. So for the next week, MCN (Millennium Conjecture Network) will fill dead air with some awesome blasts from the past. Those of you who joined the class late can catch up, those of you who were early adapters can review or take a nap. The new season starts when we return from Xanadu. Cheers!
Let’s get this straight. In case you were getting the impression that this blog is the ranting of an intellectual snob, I present contrary exhibit A.
Would a snob of any kind have a friend like this?
Here’s the story. As I emerged from the Milford Indoor Tennis club after a regular Sunday morning game of doubles, I noticed that one of the guys in our group, Bob Dolan, had parked his minivan in an unusual manner. It was facing down a slight incline, backed up to the curb, with a wooden block placed in front of the rear left wheel.
“What’s with the block,” I inquired..
“My parking brake doesn’t work.,” Bob replied.
“What about your PARK gear?”
“That doesn’t work either!”
“Wow,” I said, “what did you have to do to park on that incline? Have two guys hold it in place while you put the block there?”
At which point, I took the following video, narration by Harvey Ellis. Another of my buddies, Bruce Marien, observed that this won’t go viral, but it might go fungal!
(by the way, to add to the insanity, that thing tied via bungee cord under the front bumper on the driver’s side is the cars’ computer!)
Would someone please send this to Car Talk before they go off the air?
“A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”-Groucho Marx
Now if I could only find a child of five to write my next post, I could get out of here for the weekend.
Forever five years old
I'm not the most interesting man in the world, but I might have the most cluttered mind.
The Millennium Conjectures™ 