“What’s with all these awards? They’re always giving out awards”–Woody Allen as Alvie Singer in “Annie Hall”
The Golden Raspberry Award. Given annually to the worst films, it’s the only Hollywood award I have any respect for. This is probably because my sister Micki has been a presenter at many of their ceremonies.
Woody Allen is famous for his disdain for entertainment industry awards. But there is, I have discovered, one media cohort that gives out even more awards than Hollywood. You’re in it right now. It’s the blogosphere. It seems that every third blog I visit claims to have won a blogging award. How can this be? It’s because just about every third blogger gives out awards. Hell, I’ve even won one already! And unlike Groucho Marx, I have no problem belonging to a club that has me as a member. So without further ado, here come the BLAHS.
The BLAHS (BLog Awards Handed out by Sackler)
There are three significant things you should know about the BLAHS. (That is, if you are interested, which is a dubious assumption on my part).
First, the term “BLAHS,” itself, is in an appropriate-for-this-blog state of superposition. It is simultaneously singular and plural.
Second, the awards will be quasi-semi-maybe annual. This means I will give them out whenever I damn well feel like it for whatever I feel like and too whomever I feel like.
Third, I am still working on an actual physical prize. Trophies are nearly worthless. I would much prefer to give out something completely worthless. Like a years’ supply of rutabaga. And since I don’t know anybody who actually uses rutabaga–or eats it–the prize would be….nothing! OK, you say you can think of uses for a rutabaga? A doorstop? A very small lopsided bowling ball? A shot put for a 98-pound weakling? If you can think up 20 more uses then you have less of a life than I do and still won’t win anything.
And now–may we have the envelope and a piccolo trill, please–the winner of the first BLAHS is:
Dave Carlson of The Blog of Funny Names
Ossee Schreckengost…Benedict Cumberbatch…Outerbridge Horsey…if you haven’t heard of these names, well, you have now! And if you had been following The Blog of Funny Names since it’s debut last December, you would not have needed me to clue you in. Every weekday Dave and his co-authors present another great name from history, entertainment or current events. Special features include a weekly Funny Names in the News column. Oh and of course, they also give out blog awards; they gave me mine. Here is what they said about me:
Mark Sackler of Millenium Conjectures wins the Rube Waddell Ridiculousness Award. He’s a newer fan of ours who has already earned some notice. He’s an avid baseball fan and a kindred spirit who formerly kept a funny named baseball players list, and prides his blog on the “ridiculous and sublime” – also a good descriptor for Rube Waddell.
Great demented minds are equally demented. But besides the obvious quid pro quo, there is another great reason I selected Funny Names for the first BLAHS. It’s my favorite blog–other than my own, of course.
Endnote: if you have any suggestions for a suitable prize for the BLAHS, or a logo for that matter, please send them to me, or post them herein.
The Millennium Conjectures™ 
Hello Mark, I wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting on my Though of the Day (7.17.12 Vince Guaraldi). I love the idea of the BLAHS. My suggestion would be a bumper sticker saying Proud winner of The BLAHS (Like those Proud Parents of a XYZ School Honor Student.) Then if you feel so moved to give the award to the same site you can send them and “And Again” add on sticker. I think this would be worthless, obscure and awesome all at the same time.
Rita–A very interesting suggestion. Did you read my post on The Sackler Laws, Part 1. The law of bumper sticker activism? By that postulate, anyone who put this bumper sticker on his or her car–if they already had at least two other bumper stickers on the car–would automatically qualify as a “nut case.” See that post here: https://millenniumconjectures.com/2012/05/30/timeout-the-sackler-laws/
Thanks for the BLAHS award! I’m honored! 🙂 I’m glad we’re able to keep entertaining you – and vice versa.
You are most welcome, Dave. Keep up the good work!
I guess this post explains why I’m not into blog awards! I like ‘blah’ awards much better … =D
Me too!
I had to chuckle at your take on blog awards. As much as I truly appreciate each one I’ve “won”, I was quite confused the first time I got one. The whole concept of being “nominated” for something, but it means that you’ve already “won”, is a bit odd. At any rate, congrats on YOUR nod, and I love the name of your new award — of course you risk the rest of us diluting its importance by running around saying we’ve got “the blahs” on any given day. Just saying. BTW, thanks for stopping by Squirrel Circus!
Of course, and thank you as well!
Mark, first of all, I loved the Blahs. Reminded me of The Phantom Tollbooth (by Norton Juster). The character visits not only the Island of Conclusions and the Mountains of Ignorance, but The Doldrums as well (yawn!) Secondly, I enjoyed the Blog of Funny Names. My ex-husband had a cousin named Candy Mintz. We used to joke that if she ever became a stripper, she wouldn’t have to change her name. Arlene Yolles
Arlene, I am going to have to send that one to Dave at the Blog of Funny Names. He’ll love it. And as for the BLAHS, it is most certainly a double entendre, as more than one person has suggested the subtitle for this blog should be “blah blah blah!”
I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award, and if you choose to claim it, its instructions for it are on my awards page. I know that it’s just a meme, but perhaps it’ll provide you with a sense of achievement, or maybe inspiration for another post on the topic of memes. I doesn’t matter what you decide to do with it; I merely want to let you know that I think your posts are very interesting and I enjoy reading them. 🙂
I have great respect for your views Mark!