If there is anything I have learned in my ten months or so of blogging, it is that there are people out there in the blogosphere who are almost as warped as I am. Case in point: Essa Alroc, who won the most recent BLAHS just reciprocated by featuring me on her blog. In keeping with my habit of shameless self-promotion, I now present you with that interview. Warning: the combination of her craziness and mine could cause your computer to explode.

Essa On Everything

Mark Sackler

Subject: Mark Sackler of The Millennium Conjectures; A Blog of the Ridiculous and Sublime

Location: A veterinary office in Connecticut

I arrive at my veterinarian’s home with my 9 pound dog in my purse. I normally wouldn’t show up at my vet’s house, but this is an emergency.

A woman comes to the door. “May I help you?”

I tug my dog out of my purse and thrust her into the vets arms. “She ate all my birth control pills.”

Dr. Sackler takes Sophia. “I’ll take a look, but I doubt she’ll have any serious problems.”

“Actually, I was just hoping to get a new birth control prescription?”

The doctor rolls her eyes. “I can’t do that…but I will happily spay you.”

“I’ll pass.” I push my way into the house. “Can I wait in here?”

“Sure, just don’t touch anything.” I take a seat on the couch as I…

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  1. Joel Mandell says:

    You’re off your rocker, and so is Essa…


  2. You have already broken the spacetime continuum for me! Clicking back and forth between your blog and Essa’s – I got lost and was not quite sure for a second whose blog I am actually reading, and which pet vet story is fiction and which is genuine. Could you probably do a reblog of a reblog of a reblog to enhance this effect? 😉

    • that is a fantastic idea! I will say, my dog eating my birth control story was made up entirely. I’m sure Dr. Sackler is a great vet, but the trip from FL to CT is a little too much to travel for me.

    • If I did that, Schroedinger’s cat would be in multiple states of partly alive and partly dead…and…then…er…oh never mind.

  3. You guys are not nearly as nuts as you think you are. That’s a compliment, by the way.

  4. LoCal Russian says:

    Dear Mark,
    Pathways Art Project – a blog you have Liked at least once – would like to nominate you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Please see the details of this nomination at

  5. That was a HAlarious interview. You two are my kind of crazy.

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