Tales of a Veterinary Spouse #3: Surgery, yes. Kitchen, no.

“Anybody who finds it easy to make money on the horses is probably in the dog food business.””–Franklin P. Jones

Mark's Spitz

Mark’s Spitz

My wife is a great surgeon.  You know how I can tell?  She is the one that is always asked to carve the Thanksgiving turkey.  We figure, if she can spay a dog or cat, she should be able to cut up a bird.

The one thing she is not generally asked to do is prepare the Thanksgiving dinner,  for reasons the following story will illustrate.

We had been married for three years, and were living in our first apartment after her graduation from veterinary school. It was just the two of us and our first dog, an affectionate and lively spitz named Doodlebug.

Cheryl was actually making some semblance of effort to be a wife as well as a vet.  One afternoon on her day off she decided to make brownies.  Dinner?  She made reservations; when  I got home from work, we went out.  The cooling brownies were left on the kitchen table sharing half of a large round serving plate with some store-bought chocolate chip cookies. (Keebler, Nabisco? Whatever.)    The table was, she thought, out of the dog’s reach, so the goodies were safe, and we left.

The table was out of the dog’s reach. BUT, the chair left slightly out from the table was within reach,  so that Doodlebug could jump up on that and then reach the plateful of fun.  She did.  And she ate every single one of those mass produced cookies and did not so much as sniff my wife’s brownies.  When we got home, there was the plate:  the cookies on one side were gone, crumbs and all.   The brownies were untouched.  My wife was devastated–and I laughed so hard it’s a miracle I did not crack three ribs.   Amazing.  Our dogs will eat just about anything, including cat poop, horse poop and their own poop.   What they won’t eat is Cheryl’s brownies.  Now you know why we eat out a lot.  Bon appetit!


  1. Great story, Mark, and I do remember Doodlebug. He had great taste! (Only kidding, Cheryl, you make good scrambled eggs!) My family’s favorite story is of a dog who, in one huge lunge and bite, devoured an entire wedge of Halvah at our Thanksgiving dessert table.

  2. Unfortunately, I still remember those brownies, too. As for halvah, I could do that!

  3. I have just found your blog (thanks for visiting mine) and you are amazing. I am a follower! Love the cartoons and the musings on the sublime and bizarre science news 🙂

  4. grimacegraphix says:

    Too funny.

  5. Smart Doodlebug! Chocolate is allegedly tantamount to poison to canines. Our Rushie had no such compunction.

  6. Too funny! Sorry Cheryl but I guess this does speak to your baking skills.

  7. I definitely sympathise with your wife. Cooking is not my forte either… As for the quote, it might not be just the dog food business from the sound of a few problems they turned up in the UK

  8. Plus, when you eat out, there’s Pepe’s Pizza! That has to explain at least some of it as well 🙂

  9. The question is, do you?

  10. Great story, Mark~! And lucky Cheryl (or very, very smart Cheryl…..) There have been many times when I have wished that I wasn’t the family cook; especially at Thanksgiving!

  11. Your story made me laugh out loud! Not at your poor wife, but at the resemblence in my own dog! Minus the poop,my dog prefers human food:0)

  12. Thanks for the morning laugh while I enjoying my coffee (even though I am laughing at Cheryl’s expense … good effort Cheryl!!)

  13. You must have interesting relationships…

  14. This post is belly rockin funny. I’ve read this three times and laughed till my belly ached each time. The first and second times I read it to myself, and on the third time, which was just now, I read it to my husband and he couldn’t come to lol. Thanks for sharing. A dose of laughter is good for the soul ;).

  15. Ellica Sabo says:

    Hey Mark i will make you brownies, let Cheyl take care or my pets.

  16. The Spitz looks like a dog I grew up with as a child. He was a Schipperke called (you’ll never guess) Skipper.

    I was told they were bred to guard Belgian cargo barges. Small but fierce, he often attacked Alsatians, from underneath.

    • Schipperkes are what we have now. Two of them. Yeah, they kinda look like black spitzes. Or vice versa. Our first schip, now sadly diceased, was a diminutive tyke who thought she was pit bull. Our current two are lively but hardly fierce.

  17. Thanks for letting me camp out in your blog for a little while today. I had a great time and tried to leave my campsite as good as when I arrived. I’ll be back in a couple of weeks!

  18. Thanks for the laugh! I have had my share of cooking disasters so I empathize with your wife…

  19. Nessy San says:

    It’s ok, cooking is not for everyone, so as being a great vet! 😀 Great story, 😀

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