“If there are no stupid questions, what questions do stupid people ask?”–Scott Adams
“We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.”– Benjamin Franklin
Nothing enables stupid, silly, naive, ridiculous or downright ignorant questions like internet search engines. Judging by some of the search queries by which my blog has been found, I’m guessing that some of these people were either drunk in a bar, or reading too many ridiculous blogs. Courtesy of WordPress.com’s excellent blog stats page, here are some of the best examples, along with my appropriately astute responses. (NOTE: These are all verbatim from the aforementioned WordPress stats summary. Somebody out there actually found my blog using these search queries.)
Where would we be if we traveled 777 billion light years? I have no idea, but I’d hate to have to pick up the tab for the cab ride home.
Sixteen times four equals what? Probably 42, if you are Douglas Adams
Let me explain infinity, it is a measure of a human power, which actually not compatible, . for ex infinity is sir Albert Einstein… I just report them; I don’t explain them. But if you have any clue as to what planet the person who wrote this query is from, please inform us all.
Mark Sackler DVM After 30 plus years of marriage to a veterinarian, I have apparently been awarded an honorary degree. I certainly deserve some sort of award–or at least sympathy.
Barbayaki Say what??!! (According to the stats, this query has found my blog FOUR times. As Casey Stengel said, “you could look it up.”)
Why they add 1 millennium in 21st? OK. I give up. Why?
Funny pro-conservative bumper stickers See my post on non-existence.
Millennium Twain NASA You left out rutabaga.
Funny names for mark What? “Mark” is not funny enough by itself?
Molenium conjectures Hey, moles can have ideas, too.
Is there still a lawyer for Einstein? I’m not sure, but I think there is a lawyer for everything–even non-existence.
Please feel free to share your responses to any of these nut-case inquiries, and be sure to check back in a couple of months. There are bound to be more where these came from…